October 2008

After some careful deliberation involving a ceremonial killing, we the people do hereby ordain and establish this, the winning entry of our over-the-world-famous cartoon caption contest.

Drum roll, cymbal crash, et cetera.

"The real problem is when he pees."

"The real problem is when he pees."

Congratulations to our winner Jessica Kantrowitz! You will receive an email from me with your five dollar amazon.com gift certificate! Which is good because I owe you an email anyway. How are you sister?
Yes, yes, I know what you are thinking. How is it fair that I give the award to so dear a friend of mine. Well, let’s be honest. I knew everyone who made a submission, with the exception of two (I think).
But, because I love you so much, I am awarding two more prizes. (Gracious! Magnanimous!) Yes, I hereby award the auspicious honor of “Most Postmodern Submission” to…(opens envelope)…What’s this? A tie? Yes! A tie! The award goes to SD Smith and the mysterious “JP” for the following submissions:

“A cape, Kip? My dog flies and that’s the best you can come up with? We should get him a cape? Sometimes I wonder why I even bother with you.” (SD Smith)

“Dude why are you riding a tricycle? Aren’t you like thirty?” (JP)

Re: that last one. Yes. Yes. That child looks far too old to be riding a tricycle. But it just goes to show you why it is unfair to draw conclusions without really understanding a person. Whereas this “JP” person attributes the individual’s size to his age (30) he is sorely mistaken. This child isonly six years old, but is stricken with a rare disorder wherein his cartoonist is unable to realistically portray age. Coincidentally, the tricycle’s tire is stricken with a rare condition called “Cartoonistus-Unableus-to drawus-circleus”.

Congrats to our actual winner and to the other guys too, who are so postmodern they quote Brian McLaren like Plato quoted Socrates.

Look forward to some more of these in the future.


I’m on Twitter now! Follow me! tclairsmith
I’m actually posting this from Ping.Fm, a neat little social networking management site. Consider this a test.

For the myriads of you who have been waiting till the last minute to post your cartoon caption contest submission, let it be known that comments will be closed as of 11.59 pm tonight! (How precise!) Be sure to post your attempt soon!

In other news, my beautiful fiancee is on her way to see me! You know what that means. Tyler’s a little distracted today.



This is just to provide proof that Obama can’t be the messiah. See? There’s Jesus.

Still looking for that proof that he hates America. Been struggling to find some…

Okay. Just a friendly little reminder that YOU COULD WIN FIVE(S) OF DOLLARS by trying our new anti-impotence drug and participating in and winning a little contest that I totally ripped off from the New Yorker in a shameless attempt to get people to read this blog. HERE is where to go. Follow the instructions and prepare for your FIVE FREE MUSIC DOWNLOADS (or the equivalent thereof) if you win which you probably won’t but who knows a rolling stone catches no worm, early bird gathers the moss, necessity is the mother of a guy named Franklin, etc.

Speaking of random, almost indecipherable yet slightly humorous things, here is a blast from the past. My past. You can find this over at www.megazeenonline.com.



This is quite a few years old and is very difficult to read. (That title panel reads “Machismo” in case you’re wondering.) I just rediscovered it the other day. Kind of nifty, huh? Hope to have so more alternative style comics like this one up on the iblogo soon.

To lunch!


Alright. No cartoon today. So much to do. I hope what is depicted below never actually happens to me, but with what’s on my plate, it’s a distinct possibility.

no cartoon for you!

no cartoon for you!


1) Just discovered this great blog for cartoonists and illustrators. At least that’s what it says. It’s really just an awesome compendium of cool stuff any creative would gobble up. Especially my friend Aaron Harlow.

2) Here’s a discovery from Drawn!, the aforementioned blog. It’s a very disturbing, very hillarious, very surreal animation peice, that, well, uses real people, not drawings with googly eyes. Although there are a few moments with googly eyes.

3) Here’s something I found over at my favorite blog, from Jeffrey Overstreet. It’s (can you freaking believe this???) FLANNERY O’CONNOR’S ACTUAL VOICE!!!!! Many of you may know that Flann’O is the lady that got me writing fiction again. I am so obsessed with her, I screenprinted her face on my man purse. No joke.

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